All About Perspective
Have you ever encountered a situation where your positive experience reminds someone of their own missed opportunities? I know I have; in the law, in the entertainment world and in personal relationships. It just happens. And it sucks.
People frequently challenge the Esq. tacked onto the end of my name. One of my biggest pet peeves is the phrase, “you should know, you’re a lawyer.” Ahh, every time. As irritating as this can be, here’s the deal: if we are confident in who we are, we don’t even respond. Why? Because remarks like that reveal more about the people who utter them, than they do about us.
As an actor, the few times that I am challenged, I get questioned about my personal life, which is an attempt to establish that I must not have “any real responsibilities,” (ie. children, spouse, etc.) giving them a reason why I’m able to chase my dreams full time. Again, I don’t engage. I just allow them to paint whatever picture makes them comfortable. Because all of that is actually not about me.
As much as these types of encounters sadden me, I try not to take it personally (and neither should you).
I still feel compelled to remind people (receptive people) that it’s just a matter of perspective. What one person accomplishes is never a reflection of where you ought to be in life. You are where you are supposed to be. And should you want to change that in any way, there are an abundance of blessings to go around.
If we focus on the beautiful way our own light shines, then we will attract that same radiant light to us. I was reminded of this blessing during a production meeting for a new web series that I’ll be appearing in (check out the pilot of U N D E T E C T A B L E, a series I’m truly proud to be a part of…you’ll catch me in Episode 2). It was such an enlightened conversation that the positive energy we generated was palpable. Like certainly attracts like. And it feels really good to engage with positive people.
But there are those times when the light seems to elude us, even if we’re the lucky ones with a positive perspective. It happens to everyone. On those occasions, we have to remember that the seemingly successful people we encounter are not there to remind us of our shortcomings. On the contrary, they might have crossed our path as a form of inspiration. That we too can reach and attain what we’re looking for.
Should we find ourselves shrouded in darkness (sadness, depression, feelings on inadequacy), we need to remind ourselves that the light will eventually shine; whether it’s our own light that breaks through or the light of another illuminating the way.
If nothing else, my life continues to be a testament that you can create (and recreate) your own journey at any stage. I’m a recovering lawyer. I’m a full time actor and writer. My experiences have painted the way I see this world, and what I see is a beautiful, colorful place, flowing with opportunities. We just have to make the time to seize them.
— Posted on November 13, 2015 at 3:21 am
BOOKS, BOOKS, BOOKS
Lisann Valentin is an author of creative non-fiction, fantasy fiction, and children’s books.
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Sara F. Hawkins
November 14, 2015 at 12:37 am
Li, you have spoken the truth on so many levels. This idea of seeing the positive, believing that good will always triumph over evil, and that the light we carry in our hearts will shine bright when we need it most is so empowering. It has guided many before us and now we are in a position to teach and mentor others to believe in this too. I love that you talk about perspective, because that’s really what it is. We choose how we perceive the experience. That’s not to say there aren’t time when we’re experiencing something terrible and shouldn’t give it the attention it needs. But in the end, either it consumes us or we own it and determine how we’ll write that chapter.
I love that you say you’re a ‘recovering lawyer’. Being a lawyer isn’t who we are, it’s what we do. And just like many people changes jobs and professions and aren’t defined by it, you shouldn’t be either. It lends to your past but doesn’t define your future. I’m so glad you shared this! Because I, too, see a beautiful, colorful place flowing with opportunities, abundance, and amazing things.
Sara
Lisann
November 15, 2015 at 8:36 pm
Thank you Sara. I love this: “either it consumes us or we own it.” Absolutely.
Happy to be in this beautiful world with ya, lady!!!!